With a house full of people one would think you are never alone, there is always someone everywhere you turn. If only it was that easy. Being a stay at home Parent(even though I work FULLTIME from home) is draining. Don’t get me wrong I love every second of it. Even the non stop MOM he did this or Mommy he wont leave me alone. The Non stop bickering between brothers all of it. But there are somedays I feel like a ROBOT! Wake up, make coffee, get ready for the day, kids wake up, make breakfast, do some of the household things before daycare kids get here, then the rest of the day seems to fly by, then its dinner time, family time, baths and then kids bed time. Then I do things around the house and maybe crawl into bed by 11.
NO I am not complaining, I am truly blessed with amazing kids. I am simply saying that somedays being a MOM is draining.
When I crawl into bed my thoughts are always what needs to get done tomorrow, what did I not finish today the list of whats goes on and on . No matter how busy the day or night was or wasnt going to bed every night its truly the lonelist part of the night. House full of people in other rooms and I just chill in there alone. Its not fun but its my life.
I know everyone says GO out and have fun with your friends, have ME time(yes I even wrote a few weeks ago about MOM time and why its so necessary), I try to have ME time but it doesnt always seem to work that way. Im MOM so thats my “title” and I wear it proudly. Sometimes I wonder where “CARRIE” went, the fun outgoing love to be around other people person went. It seems the last 10 years that person is gone, I am NOT that person anymore, I hardly go out, I hardly even talk to anyone besides a very select few people. I am not the happy go lucky person I once was.
I have a few friends, who I can vent to and cry, but I dont want to bother them at 2am. I started writing alot when I can’t sleep. There are so many posts I could write about 2am adventures its not even funny.
I’m wondering if I am the only parent who feels completely alone?!?!? I am sure that I am not, just wish I knew ways besides writing to get things off my mind. There has been alot of things in the past few months that have changed and I hate bothering friends with my constant UGHHHHH moments. Just need an additional outlet besides writing to get things off my chest.
Wondering what ways others deal with these types of things? Ive never been great at expressing my feelings so for me to go talk to someone I dont really know isnt really an option for me.
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